Getting a little more out of life

I need something exciting to look forward to.

I try so hard to not be ungrateful. I have three wonderful, healthy children, a good job and a house I (mostly) love. So many people can't say any of those things. And I AM grateful.

But that doesn't mean I can change the way I feel. My family is my world, and I would do anything for them. Sometimes, though, I feel like there's nothing to look forward to beyond work and the usual sports practices and games and dance recitals. There is so little downtime to truly enjoy time with my children.

I think another big part of the problem is the guilt I feel when I consider doing something for myself instead of spending what downtime I do have with my kids. So this is where I find myself.

I'm in a real funk.

I'm not saying I need a grand vacation. My dream of seeing Italy can wait; I'm still relatively young. Even a night out with friends for drinks and dancing; a quiet dinner with my mom; a trip to a big, awesome bookstore or a museum ... that's more along the lines of what I need.

How do people make times for the things they want to do, that they LIKE to do? You read articles all the time about how women should make time for themselves, that it's good to dedicate time to things you enjoy. The practical application of such an idea is not as simple as it sounds.

So I'm curious ...

Taking an idea from a friend … What's one thing that you really like about yourself?

I had a difficult time figuring this one out. I'm more apt to look at my bad qualities than good.
But I came up with something. I love my endless curiosity.

I will frequently get out of bed to consult my dictionary when I come across a new word while I'm reading at night.

I love learning about history and hearing people's stories. I love learning anything new. I guess this is why I enjoyed being a reporter, and now an editor.

And when I meet someone, they probably feel like they are facing the Spanish Inquisition. Um, but in a good way.

The older I get, the more I come out of my shell. I love meeting new people, trying new experiences, going new places …

Instead of becoming more close-minded and set in my ways, I realize I'm slowly pushing myself to be more involved in what's going on around me without so much concern about putting myself out there.

Waah waaaahhhhhh

I need someone to whine to. I can't try to eat well AND not whine about it! That's just asking too much.


Anyone else working to kick the junk food habit?

Oh the agony of eating well

I am eating dry Raisin Bran and drinking water.


It's not easy to not eat crap. I've resisted donut holes, cheeseburgers and ice cream sandwiches within the past few days.

I have to say, except for a few stray Cheese Nips, I've been doing a hell of a job since Thursday afternoon.

This early bird's feeling good!

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, less sleep can make you feel more awake?


This morning, I happened to wake up around 2:45. I usually wake up around 5, but for some reason, I grabbed my book and picked up where I left off. Well, the book was phenomenal, so I couldn't put it down. I ended up finishing the book ("A Child al Confino" by Eric Lamet … outstanding) and staying awake.

I feel more "with it" and energized this morning than most mornings.

Go figure?

Eureka

Gee, I think I know where the high blood pressure and stress comes from.

Working on a 180

I used to be one of those people blessed with incredible metabolism and overall good health. You know, the kind of woman who could eat whatever she wanted and still be thin. Women regularly told me they hated me.

My blood pressure was always low, so much so that even when I was mega-pregnant, the doctor was concerned that I was about to pass out after checking the numbers.

Now, however, my horrendous eating habits and my plentiful excuses for avoiding exercise are taking their toll. My BP is now borderline, and I am close to slipping into bad BMI numbers.

I am constantly stressed, and can't ever seem to relax, even when I make a conscious effort to do so. And I just eat crap food to my heart's content, feeling not an ounce of shame about the stuff I'm shoveling in.

So, in short, I'm a big ball of Ugh. Which is awful, because I want to be a healthier, happier person, especially for my kids.

At work, we have a wellness program, and I finally am taking advantage of it. I am now working with our wellness coach on a plan for eating better, making myself at least take regular walks (gotta start small), and finding ways to manage my stress.

I am known for having little to no willpower, so I really have to keep on myself about it.  I need to think positively about it, which is yet another thing I am not so good at doing.

Has anyone faced similar hurdles? How did you stick to your new plan? Is it REALLY easier to continue to exercise and eat well once you get the ball rolling?